Diary (04/30/2020)

This past story was a struggle to get through. I don’t know if it was all the moving parts in it that made it such a hassle to get through, but towards the end, I was at the point where I didn’t want to read it once more. That is the way it gets with some stories, unfortunately. I wish I could tell you that every experience is great and fulfilling, but art is labor in some ways. You have a glimpse of what you want, and then you put it down on paper and it doesn’t quite match up with what your standards are.

But, the story is finished and out, and there was a decent reaction to it, so I consider it a win. It presents different dynamics than what I usually write, and I feared that some of my regular readers would be turned off by it. But, I really wanted to switch things up and offer something of a different flavor.

I have expressed this to friends and other writers but never really to my readers, so I suppose this is as good a time as any to say it. I consider erotica art, and an art form with a higher ceiling than most people give it credit for. When you think of how much of your life is focused solely on fucking, you really would think that people would consider it more important to explore through art.

What I was trying to do with this story was look at some Freeuse aspects that I have written about before, in terms of men having their way with women, but having it the other way around. I had the idea of the addiction aspect to boot because I wanted to paint the woman as overindulging and that seemed like a good way to introduce that aspect. I feel like in ways this quarantine is seeping into my writing, and that maybe one of those.

I came up with most of the premise while riding my bike one morning. I have been riding at sunrise and taking a pen and notebook with me. I’ll think up things on the go, and then when I get to the end of my trail and have to turn back, I pull it out and jot some quick thoughts down. Those moments of seclusion and peace are where I’ve come up with my most recent stories. Anyone passing by would probably never suspect that it’s me coming up with a really dirty tale. They probably think I am logging my time for the ride. That is some of the fun of it, I think. One of my biggest turn-ons is being turned on around people and them not even suspecting it.

I am also loving having my own sub. There aren’t many people there, but it is still new and I like building things from the ground up. When I first started on Reddit no one really read any of my work. Now I feel pretty confident about the audience I have built though there and my website, so I feel like the sub can become something really fun if I put the right amount of work into it. People are always looking for different ways to connect, and the fun thing about Reddit is that you can share a lot on there and have conversations that may be harder to have on other sites. I will be doing a poll this weekend for a future story, so keep on eye out for that as well.

I hope you all are taking care of yourselves and keeping safe in these strange times.

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