I had been seeing Mark for three weeks, fucking him for two and a half, and obsessed with him through the entire affair. I couldn’t explain it then, and I have trouble explaining it now. Though I am now married and settled down, I would be lying if I said that my mind didn’t wander to him when I was alone with my thoughts and a glass of wine.
I always think of one particular instance, as a matter of fact. It’s an old favorite of mine. I liken it to when you go to the bar and you see all of those fancy bottles lined up, but you are really only looking for the one thing that you always have. There is some security in that drink. You take it in your hand and you let it hit your lips and it calms you right away. That is what Mark is for me. He is my drug. Even though I haven’t had him in ages, I always feel on the verge of relapse.
Going back to the once instance, it happened when we were hiking. He was an outdoorsman. I liked that. He didn’t spend all his time outside, but he knew what he was talking about. He knew about the different plants. He knew about how much water to drink. He knew what to bring to eat and to wear sunscreen. He would talk to me and look me straight in the eye, and he wouldn’t break eye contact until I did, so sometimes he would stop his sentence and we would stare at one another for a couple of moments. Those seconds would pass by and I could feel myself begin to pulse in my pants.
“Last year when I was still in school I would do this trail all the time,” Mark said.
“Oh yeah?” I said.
“Yeah, it was fun. You can drink a whole six-pack and really enjoy the view.”
“An entire six-pack, really?” I laughed while asking.
“Yeah, why not?”
“You gotta drive home after you hike down, you ass.”
“Well, the good thing about living out here is that there are bus lines about a mile down the road. So maybe not the entire sixer. Maybe you save one and keep it in your pocket for the walk down there.”
I laughed again. I felt my chest begin to flutter. I could feel it in my wrists. I could feel it behind my clit. Mark made me hover while I stepped. This wasn’t even an easy climb. I was sweating bullets and my mouth was dry. But my endorphins were firing. I couldn’t stop smiling.
The first time he fucked me it was magical. We were watching a movie on my couch and he kissed me in this way where I felt like he had sucked the breath out of my body. His lips touched mine and I melted into him. I climbed onto his lap and he picked me up into his arms. He carried me. I kissed him all over while he did. His lips. The tip of his nose. His eyelids. He placed me on the bed and ripped my clothing off of me. When he entered he stuck his entire length in me and held me close. He held me there and I squeezed him and when he took it out I begged him to put it back. He let his sword dangle against my clit, smiling down on me while I whimpered.
“Please, Mark, no, don’t do that. Put it back.”
“I kind of like the way you beg me.”
“No, Mark, come on.”
He placed his head just inside of me and froze himself there. He took his shaft in his hand and began to swirl it around in me and I couldn’t stand it. I wanted him back in. I wanted him filling me up again. I loved it. Why was he doing this? Why was he being such a tease? He knew I wanted this, right?
While these thoughts were flooding my brain he stuck himself inside of me. He demanded that I come for him, right then and there. I did as he asked. I didn’t even know it was possible to come that quick, but it is. The right circumstances would cause your body to do all sorts of things you wouldn’t expect.
It was like I had found the perfect harmony. Do you know that feeling when you snap two toy blocks together and they fit snug and firm? That is how Mark was with me. I would wake and grope him. I would wake to him groping me. He would enter the shower while I was in there and pull my hair and push me against the wall. He would call his friends and chat about football and I would take him in my mouth and try my best to get him off the line. I would climb into his lap and bounce on him. Nothing would stop us from it because it was all we wanted. It was all we thought about. I would sit at work and think about the moment I could clock out and let him take me and do whatever he wanted with me. I was captivated.
After a bit of hiking, we found a stone gazebo. There was no one else around. All over the bench and columns, you could see where kids had written different things over the years. There were crushed beer cans and cigarette butts. Mark brushed off a corner of one of the benches and motioned for me to sit. I did so as I looked him over.
There was this odd sensation that overtook me. To this day I haven’t had it with anyone, not even my husband. I looked at Mark and he took authority over me without even knowing it. Right then and there I had figured out that Mark was an experience, not just some random fuck. But I didn’t know exactly what it was, still. I had never been in love before. Was this it? Wouldn’t love be purer? This felt different than pure. This felt dirty. But I was starting to like the dirtiness.
“What?” Mark asked.
“You’re staring. Something on my face?”
Mark turned his head so I could see his profile and gave a smirk. The setting sun hit his black bangs just right. He was more silhouette than human, but he looked gorgeous.
He picked up his water bottle and took a swig. He took a step towards me with it extended after he was finished.
“Yes,” I said.
I grabbed his shorts and pulled him close to me. When I grabbed him I was able to snag his underwear along with them so it was an easy transition for me to stick my hand into his boxers and begin to play with him. He let out a sigh as he spread his legs for me.
“What are you doing, Daniele?” he said. I loved it when he said my full name like that. Everyone calls me Dani, but he had this way of extending out the L sound that made my mouth water.
“Getting a drink,” I said. “That’s what you offered, right?”
Undoing his belt and fly took a couple of seconds. Once that was out of the way I jerked his pants so that they fell to the floor. I grabbed his ass and squeezed while I began to nuzzle his penis with my nose and cheek.
“And what if someone comes?” he asked.
“I don’t care,” I said. I kissed him on the helmet and I heard his breathing change.
That’s when I started. No hands at all. Not at first. I let him travel to my mouth on his own. I used my tongue solely to guide him and then let him touch and spill out of my lips a few times. I placed little kisses too. Small ones that led me to his underside. When I felt my lips touch his wrinkles, though, I gave him a long lick from the bottom all the way to the top. Then, his head was left to rest in my lips while I slobbered over him.
Do you know what my favorite thing to do with Mark was? Having him down my throat. He was the perfect length. I could get so much of him in that my nose would mash against his base and I wouldn’t even feel like it was a challenge. I loved that. No choking or gagging, just the movements of his shaft while I let my tongue flow over him like lukewarm water. So that is what I did after a half minute or so. I took him down and he let out a groan and I held him there. My tongue found his balls and I let them rest there as I made tiny bobs with him completely inside.
When I pulled him out it was a mess. Nothing but spit everywhere. His cock shone in the waning sun, and I let it rub all over my face. I felt so hot right then. I could see on his face how he was almost there already. I fucking loved it. I loved having the control right then. He would let out small groans and curses to let me know he approved. I took the excess spit and played with it along his dick. I looked into his eyes while I spoke with him.
“This is my fucking cock,” I said. I began to go along him like a harmonica. “My cock. Fucking belongs to me now. I can have it whenever I want, right? I can just drain you whenever, huh? You know it’s true.”
I wanted THAT right then. I took him into my mouth and began to bob fast and hard. My right hand held his two testicles and after getting his cock nice and sloppy I switched and took both into my open gap. I hummed while dancing along his skin. He began to stutter and I placed his sword back between my jaws, my teeth lightly moving over him while I smiled before swallowing him again.
He came. He came so much I couldn’t hold it all in my mouth, and I fucking loved it. Thick gobs of it spurted out of my lips and coated him. Some fell on my shirt and neckline. Most collected along the top of him. It was almost like a river. I messily and greedily I smacked my lips and let it roll along my chin, playing with the small webs that formed between Mark and myself.
“My fucking cock, Mark. Mine. Allllll mine.”
“Yes, your cock Dani. Your cock.”
I let his head rest on my lips then, kissing him sweetly and rubbing my hand along him again while I look into his eyes and let him enjoy that while the sunset behind the mountain.